So many things have happened in the past year... good and bad, pretty and ugly... and I am consistently left wondering where it all fits and how it all is supposed to make sense.. maybe that's the lame "trying life on for size" thing you go through in your early to mid twenties... lately I've been on the breaking point of/on the brink of tears ... like it's waiting... and maybe it scares me, because I don't want to feel it... but maybe I do, and I just want it out of me. 
I'm trying to not think of these as mistakes.. just phases and "oh don't do that"'s and ... forgive me, but I'm not sinning .. and catch me because I'm falling.. and hold on because I'm floating away like a balloon... and save me, because I'm choking on water...
I'm not unhappy.. I'm actually content.. but there's a messed up piece of my life that says "this furniture is not creating zen in your room" ... maybe I need rearranging.. I think getting out of Florida is a wise choice... scares me beyond anything else I might have experienced ... because leaving behind that one friend that could punch you in the face and you'd still love her with every bone in your body ... because she might need you one day... as much as you need her...

I have this new favorite song.. there's this amazing line in it where the guy says "she's got a problem with people flying, one way tickets, and a fear of crying.. these are the things she can take apart, these are the things i will take apart" ... and it hits me.. so hard...

I rambled and ranted.. don't even know what I really said.. but I'm taking it all in

All things considered, I've had this thing for a year now and have posted exactly one blog.. right after I got it.. and have not returned since.  It seems .. rather pointless to have an account on a website devoted to writing, etc and then NOT write something in it.  So i sat... sitting wasting space, html code, an account name someone might have (but i doubt it) wanted, network, and all around.. it's blasphemy..  I truly love that word.  Sooo.. all in all, I thought I'd give this here thing another shot.  I figure I can post my poetry, mindless droanings (both of which are the same, essentially).  So I pulled up my project playlist thinger.. and am now listening to some journey.. next will be the fantastic rilo kiley and matt nathanson
The new happenings in the life of Jenna:
-New job within the past 3 months.. much better, but never quite THERE, like any "job for now while i'm getting through college and bills"
-Job interview to replace my second job yesterday.. did quite well because, after all, I'm a pro
-Realized that many of the people in my life are, in fact, NOT, who I thought they were, are a waste of my time, thought, and breath.. and I have officially cut them out of my life.  It feels good to shed the emotional weight.
-I have been put under anesthetic for the first time in my life within the past week.. that's an interesting feeling to say the least   However, I'm told I am quite a riot while under the influence of named drug.
-Gummy worms got melted to my most prized possession, my favorite poetry notebook.  This is the second time in my life I have almost ruined it
-I met-ish a British kid who lives near me... he's fantastically funny and cheered me up yesterday with some awesome music.  I see potential for a cool friendship in this one.

I think..... yes, I do believe I am done for now

so this is my first time doing this... and i haven't had a 'blog' type account since the days of deadjounal... ick, how much i lived for that thing. 
So i found something more happy, perhaps?  and something where i guess i can just write stuff that i'm feeling or poetry or what not, because you certainly can't do that on myspace, you'd get made fun of, heh, and i'm not much for that
But promises that the next entry will have something of more -consequence- to it...